You're 'Avin a Larf Intcha? · May 6, 10:19 PM
So the Missus and I have just started our Netflix wish list. For those of you outside the U.S, Netflix is a great service that lets you pay about twenty dollars a month and rent DVDs and then ship ‘em back when you’re done. They then send you DVDs that are next on your wish list. Genius.
I’m not the type of fella that will sit down and watch a movie. I get distracted way too easily, that’s why movies like Lord of the Rings don’t appeal to me in the slightest – they’re just way too long to hold my interest. I do particularly like a good comedy though and when I was back in Geordieland, I almost got to see Rik Mayall and Ade Edmondson of Young Ones and Bottom fame. At one point, I would argue that those two were the funniest comedy act in England.
I almost got to see them live in Newcastle, but work conspired against me instead. So, not having seen Mayall and Edmondson do what they do best in a long time, I got the Missus to type in ‘Bottom’ in Netflix, and much to my surprise, they have a DVD available!
“Aye lass, we’re gettin’ that one! Put it doon on the list.” For those of you who are unfamiliar with Bottom I leave you with a short clip. Enjoy…
— Lee
Geordie Gas Prices · Apr 28, 08:57 PM
So I recently came across a blog post which uncovered the rising cost of gas prices in Nashville. ‘That’s nowt compared to back in Newcastle’ I thought to myself.
So upon thinking about the cost of gas prices here in the U.S, I thought I’d put together the equivalent cost of petrol in Newcastle:
- Regular: 10 Bottles of Newcastle Brown Ale
- Midgrade: 15 Pints of Geordie Homebrew Beer
- Premium: Wor lass bringing me a keg of Guinness and I forget it ever happened
So you see – gas prices in the U.S may be high, but they’re nothing compared to what some people in the world are paying. Next time you fork over all that money to fill up your car, just remember one thing – that could be beer you’re wasting!
— Lee
How to Talk Geordie · Jan 30, 10:10 PM
When I came over to the U.S in 2000 I brought with me a guide for understanding the Geordie accent. It was most appropriately titled “Larn Yersel’ Geordie“. If you’re looking for a Geordie accent guide, I strongly suggest you go for it. Read below for some dialogue excerpts.
There’s only a few words that my wife and U.S family have a hard time understanding since they’ve spent so much time around me (I’ve been told that they actually watch my mouth to make sure what they’re hearing is right).
We once had a family gathering at Thanksgiving and played a game of Chinese whispers. Somewhere in between my wife’s Dad (southern U.S accent), myself (Geordie accent) and my sister-in-law (northern U.S accent), the message was completely distorted. No surprise there.
- Geordie = “Ah wes palatick” / English = “I enjoyed myself”
- “Howay doon to the Chinese, pet” / English = “Would you care to dine with me?”
- “Mindshesweelstacked” / English = “What a stunning figure that young lady has”
- “Ootside!” / English = “Let us settle this matter in a civilised manner”
- “Aal cloot yer lugs” / English = “I am sorry but corporal punishment appears necessary”
— Lee
Geordie Ghosts and Glasses that Gan Flying off the Bar · Jan 30, 09:01 PM
My wife likes watching Ghost Hunters International every Wednesday night.
They go to places in Europe that are reknowned for hauntings, unexplained phenomenon and strange occurances to see if they can capture any audio or video.
Apparently they were filming in a public house and I heard "There have been strange reports that glasses have been flying off the bar"
Unimpressed by this, I said "That's nuthin' lass, that happen's every Friday neet in Newcastle."
My wife pretty much fell off the couch at this point laughing her arse off...
— Lee
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Geordie Anaesthetic · Jan 14, 10:11 PM
So after losing part of my tooth the weekend before last drinking a can of soda, I today visited the dentist – my first time ever in the States.
When I was growing up, my dentist was a little old lady who was accompanied by her just as old assistant. I remember the only thing I liked about the dentist was getting a superman sticker or a lollipop after we left (not to mention I got off school).
I was retelling stories of going to the dentist to my wife:
“Yeah when I was a kid we didn’t get anaesthetic…”
“Are you serious?” says my wife, giving me the look.
“Absolutely. I never used to get them for fillings or anything.”
My wife at this point is shaking her head. Mostly in disbelief, the rest in dissaray. “That just beats everything.”
To the nosey or mildly curious – the tooth is in good shape. My dentist applied some bonding and did a great job.
— Lee